


Celtic Mishaps

by That_Tiny_Boi



Series: Celtic Journals [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 17 is legal age here, 7th year but there's not a war happening, Abused Harry, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Anxiety, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, CPTSD, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Dark Magic, Dissasociation, Earth, Eventual Romance, Evil Albus Dumbledore, False Memories, False Pretenses, Forced Marriage, Fred George Bill and Charlie aren't bashed, Grey Magic, Healed Tom RIddle, Holidays, I don't know what else needs to go here, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Magic, M/M, Magic, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, MarchusAnnus, Maybe Eventual Happy Ending, Mutual Dislike, No Horcruxes, Other, Pagan Festivals, Pagan Gods, Patron Gods, Poisoning, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sane Tom Riddle, Story starts the first morning of Seventh Year, Torture, Traumatized harry, Voldemort is still in hiding, Weasley Bashing, a big thing is coming and they don't know, accidental ooc, but they still aren't comfortable with it, ill go now, magic cores, marchus annus, matron gods, non-cannon compliant past 5th year, not by the good guys, or Arthur Weasley, potioning, probably eventual smut, sixth year was normal and voldy free, uhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Tiny_Boi/pseuds/That_Tiny_Boi
Summary: After receiving shocking and concerning political news and learning how it could affect him, Harry must gather up his Gryffindor courage and do what has been deemed best for him, and the wizarding world, yet again.Disclaimer: heavily inspired by The Marriage Stone on FF.net, this is mostly my take on the basic structure of that wonderful fic.
Relationships: Bartemius Crouch Jr./Voldemort, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Celtic Journals [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678324
Kudos: 30





	1. Teaser - Beginning

Harry usually tried to remain calm but this was a situation that definitely called for panic.

"What?" was the only word the startled boy could get his mouth to form. He gripped his hair with his empty hand and tugged a handful of it stressfully. 

"Hm?" his freckled best friend asked through a mouthful of breakfast sausages. He stretched his head over to try and read the paper while sloppily wiping at his mouth on the sleeve of his robes.

Harry handed Ron the newspaper that Hedwig had dropped on his plate mere moments ago. He got impossibly more pale as he realized what his friend was gaping like a fish over. The headlines were usually crazy tabloids about Harry and his newest vampire slaying adventure or the secret to his soft skin, but today... today's headline was  _ very _ different.

"What do they mean he's the new minister?! They vote on that, don't they? They couldn't have  _ actually _ voted him in, right Harry?!" Ron's voice began to tremble with fear as a concerned Hermione sat down beside him in her usual spot with furrowed brows. At this point, the rest of the Great Hall was beginning to stress over their own papers or over the panicked expressions that ran across the staff table, the only exception, of course, being Dumbledore, who was curiously absent.

"I-I gotta go see the headmaster," Harry stumbled over his words and his feet alike as he rushed to exit the Hall and go try for answers from the neon orange robe-wearing wizard. He ran the entire way to the stone gargoyle, not bothering to care the few times he hit the corner of the wall when turning down different corridors.

"Lemon drops!" Harry shouted, out of breath.

The stone stairs had barely finished forming when Harry began sprinting up them as if his life depended on it. For all he knew, it might have. He threw the office door open, not giving a thought to knocking. He rushed in and stood in front of the eerily calm headmaster who was sipping on tea at his desk. After about a solid thirty seconds of stuttering over his words and utterly failing to catch his breath. Dumbledore reached next to his bowl of liquorice snaps to grab a small bottle containing a silvery blue potion and gestured for Harry to take it. Assuming he knew what a calming potion looked like at this point, Harry downed it in one gulp without question. Instantly, the draught's calming effect washed over the boy's mind. He took a few deep breaths in preparation to express his worry to Dumbledore, but he was cut off by the door opening again and the teachers marching into the office. Angry and concerned faces spanned around the room. Professor McGonagall spoke first.

"Albus, how did this happen? I know you have seats on the board. Did you know about this?" The transfiguration professor asked in a demanding tone. Her mouth was pinched in a tight line with worry set in her eyes.

"Everything will be explained shortly," he said with a twinkle in his eyes and a wink to the reader.

************************

to be continued.....

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a teaser chapter for my story. Sorry if I got your hopes up :) If you like this so far, then comment below any ideas you want to throw into my melting pot for this and other possible future stories. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the full story, released with periodical updates :)


	2. Chapter 2

Calm down, my dear Minerva. I was aware of this. And while I am on the board, I was much outnumbered and had no way to prevent this." He prefaced with a grimace on his mouth, and yet a strange twinkle in his eyes. "However, that does not mean we can't prevent him from abusing his position. It's a well-known fact that Lucius Malfoy is a death eater, and he's most likely to attempt to abuse his newfound position of minister to try and locate Harry. As is obvious, we cannot let that happen." Dumbledore gave Harry a look full of pity.

"Harry. You are sixteen. Which means you still very much have the trace on you. I think we can all agree that it would be best to hide you until you turn seventeen. However, now that Mr. Malfoy is Minister of Magic, he has the ability to use the trace to report your whereabouts to Voldemort." Looks of worry crossed over the two people present. "That being said, we need you to either miraculously turn seventeen or you need to become a legal adult through creature inheritance or marriage."

Albus picked up an aged looking parchment off of his desk and quickly skimmed over the ancient-looking writing on it before continuing. 

"According to your birth certificate, the chances of a creature inheritance are next to none, and even if that were the case, we can't afford to wait for that to happen. So, Harry my boy, we need to get you married."

Harry, who had sat down long ago to avoid passing out from being overwhelmed, gaped at Albus with his mouth soundlessly opening and closing like a fish out of water. He looked almost as shocked at the statement as his transfiguration professor. 

McGonagall didn't let Harry form a coherent sentence before letting her opinion on the matter be known. 

"Albus! You can't honestly think that this is appropriate, do you? There must be another way!"

"Sorry, my dear. I'm afraid this is the only way. I've already sent a Mr. Percy Weasley to retrieve the proper forms. He should be arriving momentarily."

Minerva looked as flustered as a cat who'd lost a fight. She pursed her lips and searched the older man's eyes for something. Not finding what she was looking for, she released a resigned sign and looked at Harry, who was staring into space with a confused expression, with sorrow.

"...Will it at least be someone who'll protect him? Tell me that, Albus. Who will it be? I think Mr. Potter at least deserves to know beforehand."

Albus stood from his desk and calmly walked over to one of his many shelves of strange artefacts. He brushed over a few oblong globes before setting his hand on a rusty goblet. He picked up the cup and blew the dust off. As the clouds of rust and cobwebs settled, they could now see that the goblet was an iridescent silver and was decorated with small blue pearls.

"Harry." He popped his head up to look at the Headmaster. "Hold out your arm please, my boy."

Harry slowly did as asked and held it out towards him, too far gone in shock and thought to question much at the moment.

Dumbledore took his wand and used a minor cutting spell to painlessly slice a thin line down Harry's palm, catching a good bit of blood in the goblet before wandlessly cleaning up the excess and healing Harry. They watched Albus' actions with interest and confusion. The grey-haired wizard mumbled a few words into the cup before casting a final incantation on the goblet.

" _Ratio Coniugi_ ," the blood in the cup was lit ablaze with the spell. A single small piece of parchment flew out of the dark red flames.

Albus muttered a quick spell to put out the flames and clean the goblet out before setting it down on his desk. He shook soot off of the paper before reading what was on it.

"Well, I can't say that this was what I expected, but none the less. Here, I believe this is what you wanted to know," he said before handing the paper to Harry and sitting back down behind his desk.

Harry's eyes grew exponentially and his expression quickly transformed from terrified shock to anger and confusion.

"You can't be serious Headmaster! What do you mean? I can't- he can't- I mean - this is- this is madness! This is-" Harry was interrupted by the fireplace lighting up with familiar green flames and a certain stuck up redhead stepping out.

"Ah, Percy, glad you could make it so soon," Albus gestured for him to come closer with a delighted smile. "I take it you have the paperwork I requested?"

"Yes sir," he handed a stack of official papers to the headmaster before making a request. "Apologies sir, but can we do this quickly, I can't be away for long in case the new minister needs my assistance. I just got a promotion." He kept a serious, and slightly humbled, expression on his face, though it was obvious he was shamelessly bragging about his job position.

"It will only take a moment." Albus took out his wand again and sent a quick message to the groom to be. "The other party should be here in a few minutes."

"This is happening right now? Professor, I don't think I- we- I can't. Headmaster, there must be someone else. Please." Harry looked at both adults hoping for help.

"I'm sorry my boy, but the goblet is never wrong. The spell I preformed acts similar to the goblet used for the tri-wizard tournament. It uses your magical signature in your blood to tell me who you're best suited for out of a group presented to it. I told it the only possible candidates and it chose the best one. I'm sorry if you aren't pleased by the outcome but it must be him."

As he finished explaining, the door swung open and all too familiar black robes swept in.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please leave kudos and/or comment if you think its deserving <3<3<3


	3. Coping with Shock

“Ah, Severus, perfect timing, my boy,” Albus waved the potion master over to his desk. “I trust that the students have been informed of the impromptu staff meeting?”

Severus strode over to the headmaster while holding his signature scowl on his face. Professor McGonagall silently slipped out of the room, clutching her chest already from the anticipated stress of what was likely about to happen. 

If Harry said he wasn't terrified, he'd be lying. The so-called golden-child wished nothing more than to stop existing at this moment. His hands gripping so tightly to the chair that his knuckles turned white. Frantic thoughts of panic rampaged through his mind as he scouted out every possible escape route in case the man in front of him decided to lash out and attack him. 

"Headmaster. Care to explain what the urgent matter is? I have a potion on stasis that needs tending to," The man drawled impatiently while looking slightly down his nose at the fellow people present. His arms held to his chest, crossed tightly as if to emphasize his impatience. 

"Ah, yes, pardon me from interrupting you, Severus, but it seems something of utmost importance has arisen," Albus assured him while running his fingers absently over a peacock feather quill. "You are aware of Lucius' new position, yes?"

Severus gave a stiff nod after glancing around at the others present, "I was made aware of the news, yes.”

Albus nodded, “Well, after concluding the possible risks his new position could very well impose upon Harry here, there were only three options to save him, one of which is illegal, and one is biologically next to impossible. The third option, of course, is where you come in.

“You see, Severus, we cannot age him up, nor force a creature's inheritance upon someone who has none in his blood. There is only one option left, and I’m sure you may detest it at first, but I believe that with time-”

The potion master’s rising anger with the old man began to become quite tangible through the air and his words.

“Albus, if you think for one second you will be able to make me do what you seem to be implying, you will be sorely mistaken. I will not stoop to that level of self-contempt!”

Severus spun and stormed towards the door, his robes and magic flowing behind him almost as a sort of angry typhoon. Harry flinched as the anger sparking through the air swept past him. The boy felt somewhat sympathetic to the angry man, but after a particularly rough summer, he hadn’t the energy to lash out with the equal amount of anger he shared and instead chose to close off a bit, to preserve his mind.

Dumbledore simply raised his hand towards the retreating professor and called out once more, his signature twinkle never abandoning his eyes.

“It was the Anam Cara goblet, Severus.” Dumbledore stood from his desk chair and held up the slip of paper.

Severus stopped just short of touching the door handle. So many thoughts rushing through his mind, all of them wishing to unhear what that bastard of a man had just said. He brought his hands down to his sides, balled into fists, his fingernails drawing blood from his palms. Back as straight as an arrow, he spun back around and stalked back over to the desk to glare directly at the offending man while snatching the scorched parchment from his hand.

_“Severus Tobias Snape”_

Squeezing his eyes tightly as if trying to push out the memory of reading it, he crumpled the parchment before it burst into flames and dissolved to ashes on the floor. His entire body trembling in anger and denial, he slammed his hands onto the headmaster’s desk, leaning on it with tense shoulders, trying not to collapse from the murderous urges rushing through his mind. Of all possible outcomes he predicted for his life, this had most definitely not been one of them. As the teacups and nicknacks continued to shutter from the magical tension in the room, Severus forced a slow breath and a measured single word question.

“When?”

Dumbledore grinned, despite the murderous glare he was on the receiving end of, he chose to see past the anger and placed his bets on the sliver of timid compliance he saw hiding behind. He plucked the officiating quill and forms from Percy’s hand, who at this point had been staring much too intently at the clock, ignoring the commotion. With the young man’s level of dedication to returning to his bosses side, he likely had not registered a word of what was going on, and most probably would not at all by this point.

Dumbledore quickly filled out the forms and signed himself as both the officiant and witness to the bonding. He held out the forms to the potions master to read through before looking over at Harry. The boy was now staring quite intently at a small orb on a shelf, lost firmly in thought. In his head, the boy felt like he was watching his surroundings through a television screen. He was studying the bubbles in a glass ball, electing not to think about his situation until he had to. Unfortunately, having a set of bright orange robes suddenly thrust into your range of vision, tends to snap one's mind back into focus.

The headmaster placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Come now, my boy. Urgent matters must be tended to.” He brought the boy over to the desk and handed him the nearly crushed quill, directing him where to sign. Harry’s eyes passed over the jerkily written signature of his professor and managed to scratch out his name on the line below it, regardless of whether he felt like his hands weren’t there or not. 

When he lifted the quill, it floated up into the air out of his hand, glowing white. It melted into an orb of energy before splitting in two and rushing towards both Harry’s and Severus’ left hands. A spiralling band of interwoven symbols wrapping itself around their ring fingers, glowing brightly once more before fading into a silver tattoo-looking mark. 

Harry wasn’t aware of when he began hyperventilating, but the next time he became aware of his body was waking to the all too familiar scratch of hospital wing bedsheets. 

  
  
  



End file.
